Pest Control for Schrute Farms

Did you know that Eco-Safe Pest Control services farms in addition to homes and businesses? Read the transcript below to learn about Dwight Schrute’s reaction to Eco-Safe and how Eco-Safe could help protect his farm from pests when other pest control companies could not. If you are an Office fan, be sure to read Dwight’s lines in Rainn Wilson’s voices and Jim’s lines in John Krasinski’s voice!

Dwight, on the phone: “Ughh you aren’t listening, these pests are eating my beets. The treatments aren’t working. Stop putting me on hold!”

Jim overhears: “Dwight what treatments are you referring to?”

Dwight covers receiver of phone: “Jim, not right now, I had to call a pest control company. Schrute farms is under attack by super pests. They are eating my beets!”

Jim: “Sounds like you should give Eco-Safe a call.”

Dwight: “Jim can’t you see I’m on the phone… No, I do not want to be placed on a brief hold again. Damnit, Jim they put me on hold again! What’s an Eco-Safe?”

Jim: “They’re a pretty awesome natural organic pest control company. I’ve been using them for years. Plus, it’s probably best to not have pesticides on your farm.”

Dwight: “Jim get serious. I don’t have time for your jokes. Natural pest control would never work against pests strong enough to hurt Schrute beets. Either way Schrute genes are resistant to all toxins.”

Dwight, monologue: “The worst thing you can do for your health is to coddle it. Exposing yourself to toxins is the best way to make yourself stronger. Sounds like Eco-Safe is doing their customers a disservice by not using toxins… The principle is sound. To become resistant to toxins, you have to expose your body to toxins. I don’t know why everyone doesn’t do this. Maybe they have something against living forever.”

Jim: “You would know, wouldn’t you? Tell me again about your experience with vampires or was it werewolves?”  Rain Wilson/Dwight Eco-Safe

Dwight: “Oh real mature, Jim. I know you are just trying to make fun of me. We’ve been over this before, you know I haven’t had experience with vampires yet only with werewolves. Natural pest control? Give me a break. You’re like the modern anus, too coddled.”

Jim: “You’re an idiot.”

Dwight: “Oh yeah? Eco-Safe is an idiot. Idiot.”

Dwight, no longer on hold: “Finally. Wait what do you mean you aren’t going to help me and you don’t know how to treat the pests affecting Schrute farms. What kind of pest control company are you!?”

*Jim writes Eco-Safe’s phone number on a piece of paper and slides it over to Dwight*
Dwight rolls his eyes and reluctantly calls Eco-Safe only to find out they are fully equipped to handle pests even strong enough to damage Schrute beets and were more affordable and offered free inspections.

Dwight monologue, happily: “Turns out Jim was right about Eco-Safe all along. They got rid of my super pests and helped make my soil healthier. All in one visit. Can’t wait to see if my beets start tasting better. I signed up for their recurring service. I found Eco-Safe comes from a long line of war heroes and powerful women – just like Schrutes.”

Dwight whispers, gets serious, continues monologue: “We might even be related. Apparently, they have some German ancestry. It would make sense… only a Schrute could get rid of pests strong enough to affect Schrute Farms. Does that make Eco-Safe more Schrute than me? Maybe. Who knows?”

The 41st rule all future Scrhutes must learn before the age of five from now on is to call Eco-Safe if you ever have pests.